I went through the whole thing — and pulled out the best lines. They are amazing(ly) odd.
1. “Good event. Nice event. … (inaudible) ethanol in there. Great crowd, great people. Great people.
Inaudible Ethanol would be a good band name. And away we go!
2. “But caucus is different. People walk in. You talk to them.”
[Opens PoliSci textbook, flips to “caucus” section, reads]: “Caucus is different. People walk in. You talk to them.”
3. “These people couldn’t get in. Great people. It’s a lot of — look at the — look — look at the people. They can’t get in, George.”
Trump is forever obsessed with how many people come to see him and how even more wanted to come see him. Always.
4. “Feel great about I think virtually every state that we’re competing in. I think Iowa’s great. I think Ohio and Florida, North Carolina, South Carolina. Pennsylvania, I feel really good about.”
5. “Yeah, well, we’ll be announcing that in about two months.”
Trump is talking about the health care plan that no Republican elected official wants him to announce. Take special note of his timeline…
6. “You’ll see that in a month when we — when we — introduce it. We’re going to have a plan.”
…because it just changed. So, according to Trump, he will be announcing his new health care plan in mid-July, roughly two weeks before Congress heads out of town for a month on its annual August recess, er, district work period.
7. “With respect to trade, we have a lot of power. And — we have great numbers. The companies are very strong. They’ve very liquid.”
Which companies? All of them?
8. “He’s my pick. I agree. But, you know, we also have people in there that weren’t my pick. But he’s my pick. And — I disagree with him entirely.”
9. “And I inherited almost $21 trillion in debt. I inherited that.”
10. “We’re close to being very, very strong. We’re close to being stronger by far than ever before.”
Very, very strong is good, right?
11. “People don’t understand tariffs, but I understand them. And I also understand the power of tariffs.”
12. “I had a case of it recently with The New York Times where they’re writing things knowing it was wrong. Knowing.”
It’s not exactly clear what story Trump is referring to here. But the idea that The New York Times published incorrect information knowingly is very hard to believe. And by “very hard to believe” I mean “not possible.”
13. “I don’t call it tweets. I call it social media.”
14. “And it’s not tweet. It’s social media.”
No, I have no idea why this distinction is important to Trump either. Thanks for asking!
15. “I put one out this morning. And as soon as I pressed the button, they said, ‘We have breaking news.’ Every network, every station. ‘We have breaking news.’ They read my tweet. Why is that bad?”
This explanation is the best one I’ve seen about why Trump uses Twitter so much. He loves to be able to drive news cycles — even if the news cycle is unfavorable to him. The power to do it is intoxicating to him — someone who spent his whole life trying to get coverage for himself from what he believed to be a biased media. Now, he can make the news with a single tweet. And he loves it.
16. “Nobody’s ever been treated badly like me.”
Nobody? Ever? [Consults first page of any history book eve.]
17. “Although they do say Abraham Lincoln was treated really badly. I must say that’s the one. If you can believe it, Abraham Lincoln was treated supposedly very badly.”
This is accurate — especially if your definition of “treated supposedly very badly” is “was assassinated.”
18. “Nobody’s been treated badly like me.”
Yeah, I think most peoples’ “Americans treated very badly list” would go something like this: 1) Trump 2) African slaves 3) Native Americans.
19. “We’ve gotten great poll numbers recently. Tremendous poll numbers.”
20. “I wanted to say, ‘I’m running. I’m running. I’m running.’ But I wasn’t running. There’s a big difference when I run and when I just say, ‘Hey, I hope you vote for somebody.'”
21. “But Rasmussen– well, I don’t know c– Quinnipiac has never been accurate for me. Rasmussen was the m– one of the most accurate polls.”
22. “And, you know, for women — as you know, I did very well with women last time. I was hearing I wouldn’t have. I’d say, ‘Why? Why? Explain.’ I did very well with women –“
23. “Well, I got 52%.”
He didn’t actually get 52% with women. He got 41%. He got 52% with white women. Which, well, draw your own conclusions.
24. “I think that — hey, Hillary Clinton focused on women, and I did phenomenally well. Many, many, many points above what they thought.”
Trump got 41% among women. Mitt Romney got 44% in 2012. John McCain got 42% in 2008. George W. Bush got 48% in 2004 — and 44% in 2000. So if 41% is “phenomenally well” then I did “phenomenally well” in Calculus in high school.
25. “I think we’re going to do tremendously now with African-Americans, with Asians, with Hispanics because they have the lowest unemployment numbers they’ve ever had in the history of the country.”
26. “We’re doing the best job that anybody’s done probably as a first-term president. I think I’ve done more than any other first-term president ever.”
It’s starting to dawn on me that Trump may not be a huge student of presidential history. Or, like, history more generally.
27. “Mueller comes out. There’s no collusion. And essentially a ruling that no obstruction.”
28. “George, the report said no collusion.”
29. “Probably I average four or five hours or something like that.”
30. “Uh I’m not a breakfast guy at all, fortunately. I like the lunches but the dinners is what I really like.”
My meal rankings: 1) Dinner 2) Breakfast 4,627) Lunch
31. “That’s why if we can take over the House, we will have things done like never before.”
32. “I have the biggest people — yesterday I had some of the biggest business people in the world in my office and they have beautiful offices perhaps more beautiful than the Oval Office, although to me there is nothing more beautiful because of what it represents.”
Eloquence, thy name is Donald Trump.
33. “You didn’t have flags to any great degree. You had an American flag, but for the most part you didn’t have flags. Uh, it’s quite a bit different than President Obama.”
Donald Trump’s contribution to the Oval Office? Flags!
34. “It’s very comfortable, and back there I have a tremendous amount of work. In fact, you’d see it’s a much different uh, effect. You can’t have — every time we have pictures everyone wants a picture, you don’t want to take all things off your desk so I have a desk back here that I actually use much more.”
35. “And the heads of royal companies and car companies and other presidents did not make the Oval Office easily available and I do.”
36. “I opened it and I saw the letter I read it and I thought it was very nice and I have it. Uh, right there that’s more judges I’m signing, we’ve signed a 107 judges since I’m in, and I’ll get a 145 plus two Supreme Court judges which we already have and the numbers should be quite a bit higher than that.”
In which Trump goes from talking about the letter Obama left for him in the White House to the number of federal judges he will get confirmed. Without a pause. Or a break. Pure stream-of-consciousness stuff here.
37. “Because we’ve given the biggest tax cut in history.”
38. “It’s actually phony polling and I believe it’s suppression. They suppress, they want to suppress the minds of people so they don’t bother going out and voting.”
This is not a thing. What Trump is saying is that the polls aren’t good for him and, therefore, they must be fake.
39. “I think it’s probably, uh, I want them to think whatever they think, they do say, I mean, I’ve seen and I’ve read and I’ve heard, and I did have one very brief meeting on it. But people are saying they’re seeing UFOs, do I believe it? Not particularly.”
Word salad! With a side of UFOs! Delicious!
40. “And some of them really see things that are a little bit different than in the past, so we’re going to see, but we’ll watch it. You’ll be the first to know.”
The President of the United States on the possibility of aliens: “We’re going to see, but we’ll watch it.”
41. “I think I have the greatest base in the history of politics because they are not believers in false things.”
42. “For instance, on Good Morning America today they had that phony polling information. I explained to you last night that it was phony, but you didn’t do anything about it. You should have, but it was late in the evening and perhaps you didn’t get a chance.”
43. “I like the truth. I’m actually a very honest guy.”
44. “George, I know he hates me. And then he puts 18 people on who are Democrats.”
45. “Because nobody has any idea how corrupt the media is. They are corrupt. Not all of it, fortunately. But the media is corrupt.”
Read “corrupt” here as “unwilling to write only positive stories about me.”
46. “When you will see my financial statement, at some point I assume it’s going to be released, you’ll be very impressed by the job I’ve done. Much, much bigger, much, much better than anybody.”
Remember: Trump is the only post-Watergate president not to release a single page of his past tax returns.
47. “If you’re going to cough, please leave the room. You just can’t, you just can’t cough. Boy, oh boy. OK, do you want to do that a little differently than uhh-“
48. “I look forward to, frankly, I’d like to have people see my financial statement because it’s phenomenal-“
49. “But they’re asking for things that they should never be asking for, that they’ve never asked another president for.”
Trump is the only post-Watergate president not to release a single page of his past tax returns.
50. “No, people hate Obamacare.”
51. “Do you agree with the cough? I hate to have a cough in the middle of a (inaudible). … No, but don’t you agree with that?”
Yes, the cough is the key thing here.
52. “My life has always been a fight.”
53. “The campaign, the Trump campaign rebuffed them. We had nothing to do with Russia.”
54. “I’ll tell you, you talk about collusion, take a look at the collusion with the Democrat Party and Facebook and Google and Twitter. That’s called collusion, that’s called real collusion.“
55. “And [Rusian President Vladimir] Putin, I will say this: if he had it, it was up to him. He would much rather have Hillary Clinton be president right now.”
56. “I would guarantee you that 90%, could be 100%, of the congressmen or the senators over there, have had meetings — if they didn’t they probably wouldn’t be elected — on negative information about their opponent.”
57. “I don’t know, I stay uninvolved. I stay totally uninvolved.”
58. “Not only — not only wasn’t he charged, if you read it, with all of the horrible fake news — I mean, I was reading that my son was going to go to jail — this is a good young man — that he was going to go to jail.”
59. “I’ll tell you what: I’ve seen a lot of things over my life. I don’t think in my whole life I’ve ever called the FBI. In my whole life. You don’t call the FBI.”
60. “The FBI director is wrong because, frankly, it doesn’t happen like that in life.”
61. “I don’t — there’s nothing wrong with listening. If somebody called from a country, Norway, ‘We have information on your opponent,’ oh, I think I’d want to hear it.”
Truly stunning stuff here. What Trump, who is, reminder, the President of the United States, seems to fail to grasp is that a foreign county would almost certainly have a motive for passing along negative information about Trump’s opponent.
62. “It’s not an interference. They have information. I think I’d take it.”
It is interference. There is a reason that we only let Americans vote in elections. Because Americans should be the ones who have the only say about the future leaders of America. I mean, come on. This is 7th grade civics class stuff.
63. “Barron’s doing fantastically. He’s here. He likes soccer. He’s doing a great job.”
Me on my sons: “They’re here. They like soccer. They’re doing a great job.” Weird, right?
64. “He– w– when you say ‘me,’ not me. … Because I didn’t know him at that time. That was a very different deal. But here’s the bottom line. I ended it.”
65. “I think that Kim Jong Un– and you’ve heard many bad things about him, but you’ve heard from me different things.”
This seems to suggest that Trump doesn’t believe Kim is a bad guy — and that many of the reports of the atrocities by Kim are, uh, “fake news?”
66. “[Kim] could have almost an instantaneously wealthy behemoth.”
My college jazz fusion band was named “Instantaneously Wealthy Behemoth.”
67. “I say a lot of nice things about a lot of people that are very soft and nice.”
68. “Some might be nice, and some might not be nice. But I’ve done a great job.”
69. “The story on that very simply, No. 1, I was never going to fire Mueller. I never suggested firing Mueller.”
70. “I don’t care what [McGahn] says. It doesn’t matter. That was to show everyone what a good counsel he was.”
Oh, it matters. Especially because, again, McGahn was under oath. Which Trump isn’t in this interview.
71. “Because he wanted to make himself look like a good lawyer.”
OK. So, McGahn lied under oath to make himself look like a good lawyer? The logic here is truly mind-boggling.
72. “But Don McGahn thought he did a great favor. And maybe he even believes it. But that never happened. And I have people that will tell you it didn’t happen.”
73. “A president can run the country. And that’s what happened, George. I run the country, and I run it well.”
This was Trump’s response to a simple question: “So a President can’t obstruct justice?” I mean…
74. “I answered a lot of questions. They gave me questions. I answered them in writing.”
Trump refused to sit down with Mueller in person despite repeated attempts by the special counsel’s team to make that happen.
75. “They do societies that are so false. Everything — I mean, almost everything. They do so many false.”
“So many false.” — Donald Trump on the media
76. “I would say that he certainly must have known about it because it went very high up in the chain. But you’re going to find that out.”
No big deal here — just the current president accusing his predecessor of being aware of a Justice Department-led conspiracy aimed at keeping Trump from the White House!
77. “No collusion, no obstruction.”
78. “Somebody that did a really great job for the country.”
Donald Trump on his legacy. This feels like a good place to (finally) end.